Wednesday, March 16, 2016

My Inner Lion

I need to get in touch with my inner lion.
I think I located my inner owl a few days ago.

No, this isn't about animal spirit guides. I've just been lacking courage and even wisdom at times, regarding my writing.

The past couple of weeks have been rough for several reasons. During that time, I posted a story that was important to me.

A couple of days later, I re-read it. I saw so many mistakes! Not typos. I mean entire paragraphs that were out of order, wrong wording, etc.
I realized that I'd foolishly rushed the editing process to stay on my posting-once-a-week schedule.

I reworked the story and posted a better version of it, but that didn't stop my confidence from taking a nosedive. I came very close to deleting my entire blog.

While I was in the midst of my writer's despair, two people on two different sites praised my stories and writing style. So unexpected and very timely!

I used the word despair, not because I'm being a drama queen, but because this is about pursuing my dreams! The looming doubts that sometimes whisper "Accept it, you're just not good at this!" can make the dreams feel like nightmares.

Writing for an audience is often risky, tricky and icky! I think it's because we writers put a piece of ourselves out there with every story we publish. We hope that someone will like our work and gain something from it. We also realize that it won't be everyone's cup o'tea. Many of our posts are ignored almost completely. That can't be good.

There is a popular social push now to just be yourself and to "not care what anyone thinks". I'll agree that confidence can be wonderful and being overly self-conscious is defeating. But I think most people truly want to succeed and to be liked. Is there a healthy, balanced approach between not caring at all and caring too much? I think so!

When I submit my work to publishers, which I've done and plan to continue, I'd better care what they think! It's not all about me.

I consider myself a student of writing and blogging, even as I'm taking the plunge into it! I am still trying to understand how this vast ocean of internet/social media works. There is so much information out there. It's overwhelming at times!

Some of my mentors have confessed openly to fighting battles similar to mine. It's just part of the process for everyone who tries something new. I so needed that reminder!

Shared stories on any topic are just empty words when there's no passion behind them.  As my introduction to this blog states, I want to share what I learn with others. That's what my heart told me to do.

But recently my inner owl of wisdom revealed to me that it's better not to share some experiences. Those are the ones that should be written just for me (and maybe for my children and grandchildren to read someday).

I haven't been completely true to myself for quite awhile because I gave up my personal journaling. It's something that I'd done since I was age nine and it's a form of self therapy.  I know it's time to renew it.

That owl also reminded me to take another look at my blog numbers: which posts my readers have liked the most. Stats are a biggie; very revealing!

The courageous lion in me is now willing to try again after my mini-crisis.
I'm planning to submit stories to three different publications soon.
I'm going for it, Baybee!
True Confessions of an Overthinker isn't going away yet either. I'm even going to press the PUBLISH button on these ramblings now...


                                                   
                                                      This video clip is 43 seconds long